Selladore
3 Track EP

Never trust a man with a voice like THAT, especially if he offers to show you his etchings. These will be detailed depictions of troll battles, most likely drawn in his own blood. This man Dave (who is possibly the seventh son of a seventh Dave) sounds like the singer from Lordi hawking up his supper. At least I presume it’s his; maybe one of Slipknot honked in his mouth or something. He really is very hoarse.

Selladore are keen on brute force, but they can play all right. They’re proud to have recruited skilled drummer Jim, but none of them are weak links and they’re capable of stirring up a big, rumbling noise.

What they describe as Punk/Rock leans towards traditional metal at times, hefty of riff and deep of bass. The real stumbling block is that their undeniable musical ability is put to the service of songs that sound a lot like a yowly Limp Bizkit. The spirit of bellyaching Fred Durst isn’t one you want to summon up.

Maybe Dave needs to chill out. Maybe he needs to get scarier. Maybe the band needs to stop punctuating apocalyptic howls like ‘Slave’ with toy saucepan solos. (What was that about? I suspected the involvement of Chris Morris.)

Selladore are heavy at times, but often they just sound petulant.