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English Teacher
The World’s Biggest Paving Slab

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Quirky music is making a giant comeback and English Teacher are one of the bands spreading its joy.

The verses of ‘The World’s Biggest Paving Slab’ have a monotonal quality, delivering lyrics that refer to contemporary actors alongside 17th-century witch hunts, landmarks, and media events.

When the chorus hits, though, the melody is allowed to wheel around the sky.

Sonically, it’s an indie sound that sits well alongside the likes of Wet Leg; indie-rock with folksy qualities and creative detours. There’s a lot to like about this kind of thing. English Teacher We’re expecting to hear a lot more from Lily Fontaine and her band.

Watch English Teacher – ‘The World’s Biggest Paving Slab’.

The World’s Biggest Paving Slab Lyrics

I am the world’s biggest paving slab
But no one can walk over me
I am the Pendle Witches, John Simm
And I am Lee Ingleby
I am the Bank of Dave, Golden Postbox
And the festival of R&B
I’m not the terrorist of Talbot Street
But I have apocalyptic dreams

You should see my armoury
I am the world’s biggest paving slab
So watch your fucking feet

I am the world’s biggest paving slab
But I sit here quietly
No one ever looks down at the ground
Yeah, no one ever notices me
I wish I were born a stone
And made Wycoller my home
Haunting with Charlotte Bronte
I’m not the terrorist of Talbot street
But I think that ruins have beauty

You should see my armoury
You should walk all over me
I am the world’s biggest paving slab
And the world’s smallest celebrity

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Written by Fenton on

Steve Fenton writes in our music, words, and culture categories. He was Editor in Chief for The Mag and covered live music for DV8 Magazine and Spill Magazine. He was often found in venues throughout the UK alongside ace-photographer, Mark Holloway. Steve is also a technical writer and programmer and writes gothic fiction. Steve studied Psychology at OSC, and Anarchy in the UK: A History of Punk from 1976-1978 at the University of Reading.
Fenton

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